Myanmar, bye.

Don't know if you guys still follow the news as ardently as before when General Paper reigns supreme? But I think the news about the current political situation in Myanmar has been everywhere recently.

Anyway, my trip to Myanmar has been cancelled. Although this was somewhat expected, (after all, people are getting killed now and we all don't want a replica of the Korean hostages in Afghanistan) but I still feel a whole truckload of emotions. Today at the meeting at REACH where we announced our decision to abolish Myanmar's projects, I told the team that I'm going through a grieving process. I felt anger at the untimeliness of it all, disappointment that all the bloody work came for naught (yes, I know, I used the word "bloody"), sadness that I cannot experience Myanmar and then utter denial that such a thing ever happened. Excuse my melancholy all you people, but this was a project planned in November 2006 and to have it ripped apart at its seams just like that is not just hard to stomach. It's painful even to swallow.

To have this project abolished was bad enough. Now, the worse thing that can happen is that people are dropping out of the team. " I don't want to go to Cambodia.", "My mindset was already set for Myanmar, I cannot change it." (Our alternative arrangement now is to go back to Cambodia by the way) Sigh. Double Sigh. 2 of my closest expedition friends are pulling out and they were with me at the early stages of the project. They may have good reasons to leave the team but at the moment, I feel too abandoned to be rational about their leaving. And perhaps more people will eventually pull out. If that happens, I don't know if I have the strength to go on with this project.

People may think that this is all just for volunteerism and it's simply nothing much. But do you all know something? When you go over there and you really try all means and approaches to make the other person's life better irregardless of how insignificant your action may appear to be, the experience changes you so drastically that you're too overwhelmed at that moment to even realise how much you're grown. Cambodia was life-changing. I miss my little baby. But if I go back there again, will I see him? Will I know that it's him? Will I just come back and miss more babies whose lives have so touched my heart and live with the knowledge that again, I'll never see them again? All of these questions make going back to Cambodia seem so difficult.

I'm sorry Shuyu Chan that I cannot describe to you how I felt just now in MSN. It's just that I don't know if I even can find words to really exemplify how terrible I feel about this. And I don't think any of you really comprehend why am I even feeling this way. But I shall try and this post is for you to understand a part of me that I've never ever shared with you, Silin, Shiqi, Gupo etc even though we're the best of friends. =) Try to emphatise with me a little ok. And if you're already bored with this rambling, you can ignore me in MSN when I'm moody or otherwise in silin's words, I may resort to "verbal diarrhoea" on you guys again.

Let me tell you guys about my Cambodian baby okay. haha..Try not to sleep off shuyu!

His name is Trina. He lives in an orphange that's badly corrupted. They "recycle" babies, conning the Ang-mohs who come to adopt the babies that the babies they wanted are already being adopted when this was in fact untrue. The first time I set eyes on him, he was lying on the floor and even though he had a nanny with him, the nanny only GLANCED at him every once in a super long while. Trina was, when I first sighted him, covered in his own shit and urine. He was smelly and was attracting flies. When have you ever seen a baby surrounded by flies? The sight, I promise you, will reduce you to tears. And what really pained my heart was that he was just lying there so helplessly and no one, absolutely no one was doing anything for him at all. That was the first time in my life when I realised how dangerous apathy was.

I made a fuss by the way. I told the nanny twice about Trina and only then did she clean him. After he was cleaned, I picked him up. Realised he had a huge bulge where we, normal human beings have a flat tummy button. Astounded by the size of his, I asked the nannies there. They told me how Trina's mother due to a lack of education and healthcare, was forced to give birth by herself. When cutting the umbilical cord, Trina got infected thus resulting in such a huge bulge. That was the first time in my life when I realised the importance of equal opportunities.

One of the nannies then told me about how Trina was a cry-baby. And how he would cry non-stop all the time. But guess what. When I was carrying him, he did not cry at all but would only suck his thumb. Haha. I carried him in my arms for the rest of the afternoon. When it was time to leave, I had to put him back into the sarong. Mind you, the sarong was only a feeble piece of wire with cloth. The moment I put him back, he started howling and he refused to let go of my little finger. Everytime I think back of that moment, I remember his helpless eyes again and how such helplessness was merely echoing my own. That was the first time in my life I felt such uselessness. Eventually I left of course, and that night during debrief, everyone spoke about their own little stories. And I remembered how one youth got so emotional that she had to leave the room because she was in tears.

And now, with such experiences from Cambodia, when I see the images in Myanmar, the brutality and the violence, I'm only reminded of how foolish all of us human beings are and how, more often than not, it is always the poor, the disabled, the children, the widowed, the deprived who are left to pick up the pieces. I hope the people of Myanmar gain their liberation from such oppression soon. It's about time too.

One big Family

Indian = Indian
Gupo = Fatty
Truthful = Ugly

I have finally thought of a name for SQ and myself.

Indian = Indian
Gupo = Fatty
Truthful = Ugly
SQ = Shortie
Me = Pretty

Indian, Fatty, Ugly, Shortie and Pretty ! We're one big family.

Hehe.

many things to blog abt!

hello! since i am on mc today n i am truly bored! so here i am to blog!hehe!!

okay! firstly, i would like to share with your abt my work!hehe!this is a 100% biru's designed rubber band holder that she created while having nothing to do!check it out!

ah YA!

HOHOHO....gupi missed out the HIGHLIGHT of our trip to old folk's home on sat!!

Yes...we were there, we played games, we sang, we fed...

but there was something else!!!

i found this picture of biru from some years back.. whn we were in sec sch...

my dear readers... do you really think this is biru?!?!?!

noooooooooooooo!!

hehe..Her name is Wen ya..she's the younger sister of my collegue... but im sure some of ur while reading this post earlier certainly believe this was our very own GUPI!! some people in the home had actually mistaken and called our gupi ah ya too...Arhahahaha....hehe... when i saw the pic..i nearly freak out too... OMTTTT.. look at this!!

do you see the resemblence of both of them??? its 99.9999999999999999999%!

especially whn they took the pic tgt... omtttt

my greatest sympathy for ah Ya..hehe...

Interesting/ Adventure/ Meaningful

Interesting

Hello! This is what I found at toy museum (a cafe). And I find it really interesting, thus would likr to share with all of you. Have a close look my favourites!(:

Read the words Then I folded it!

Interesting right! That is all for interesting!

Adventure!

It's a bright and sunny Saturday! Aaron and me were going to meet our church friends for a concert! den something happen! imagine the the scenerio of a train..(frm tpy to newton)

me and aaron crapping, crapping n still crapping...

A lady sort of anticipated that she will faint den she squat down!

Passer by A: wake up auntie wake up!

Passer by B : anyone got medicated oil?

(Frantically, i searched for mine and passed it to them)

Passer by C: some1 press the emergency bell!quick!

Aaron: Are you sure are you sure? -_-lll

Then he pressed the emergency bell..

Then he spoke to the train driver!He wasnt sure on where was the microphone den he spoke all over the place..-_-lll (got a guy behind him was urm chioing) -_-lll..stupid guy!

Finally, the train stopped and the lady regained consciousness! the train conductor asked us to step out of the train for a while! Then aaron left his details for the uncle!

Thank God the lady is well and fine! (:

What an adventure!

Meaningful

Silin, SUSU, Rachel and me went to my colleague (wen li's) old folks home to do volunteer work!

as in it's not her old folks home..-_-lll..initially we felt awkward..or rather me felt awkward..den we just gan ga gan ga gan ga!wahah!den we sort of warmed up abit then we started playing games with the grannies n grandpapas n started communicating with our "pro" dialect!haha!*imagine that scene*..

Then there's this thing call music therapy..basically it meant that we entertain the grannies n grandpapas with our "woo wow wee" voices..wahaha! some actually shake their hands asking us not to sing..-_-lll..wahah!

Then I fed this old lady! She looked really skinny and I think she is really old. She cannot speak at all and it took her alot of strength to actually open her eyes..hmm..quite sad to see that initially..den the nurse told us that she actually has alot of strength and sometimes will even pinch them den I -_-lll...hmm..neeway..I took an hour to finish feeding her! woo! I really felt this great sense of achievement after feeding her and subconsciously I became bao after feeding her..-_-lll

ooo!overall it's really great to be doing all these cos it's something that i really wanna do all these while and now i finally has the chance to do that!(:

so my favourites! Do join us if you are free cos i think they really do need volunteers!(:

Life in the Ivory Tower

A picture of a devastated woman whose house behind her was just devasted by the earthquake on Wednesday.

Taken from my volunteer friend's blog.

ok. I just experienced really bad tremors at home. my house was shaking, and i thought my readings of social support systems were making me giddy.suddenly i felt everything shake, and then i looked at my 'window blind adjuster' and it was swaying. that was when i decided it's time to get my ass out of the house.went downstairs. everyone was there, some were running down the stairs.

called buddy wl to reassure her i'm ok, and she forwarded an sms to me from the news station:'Singapore buildings sway after earthquake 7.9 in Indonesia, quake has tsunami potential.'

my goodness, when i read the word 'tsunami', my whole heart sank. it was almost i was immediately transported back to Banda Aceh and the faces of the children and the destruction came back to my mind.I sat down at a corner to pray for the people in Indonesia.

At that point, my neighbour and his wife came home from work. They parked the car, and asked me why everyone was downstairs. I said 'oh, the building was shaking. there's been an earthquake in Indonesia.'To my shock, his wife replied 'oh. i hope there arent cracks in my house.'I nearly couldnt speak anything in reply.

Honestly, I couldn't believe what she said. So i offered more info: 'oh, they say the quake has tsunami potential.''oh ok. it must be quite bad huh?'

'i hope there aren't any cracks'

I read that and I could immediately emphatise with my friend's frustration at how insensitive some people can be. Sometimes, I don't understand why we can be so dumb and so immune to other people's suffering. It is as though we have taken vaccination jabs that make us immune to all of this! All of us here live in this wonderful Ivory tower where we are so sheltered from the pain and the bloodshed. If only we can detach ourselves from the materialism of society and to really look closer at the lives of the more unfortunate, we will find ourselves changed.

How many of you therefore know that the average Cambodian worker only earns about $40 a month? How many people know that diamonds that we wear on our fingers are actually the reason for civil war and mass murder in Africa? Do we all realise that when we shop for branded clothes, we're actually spending enough money to save a child from starvation in India? I wonder how many of us are bitterly aware of that.

I don't think that we should all then become super money-savers or that we should not go shopping. On the contrary. After all, even if we save 100 bucks from not buying that pair of heels, we will eventually spend that sum on something else like a textboook or on food. I just wish that everyone would be more aware of their extravagance and to just be conscious of the fact that they're so blessed to be living the lifestyles that they're living now. That because of this awareness, they would then be more sensitive to the sufferings of others. In life, there may be times when we cannot do anything to alleviate the pain of someone else. However, what we can do is to bear witness to that suffering so that no one need suffer alone.

No longer will we then obsess over that unattainable goal of being Number 1 all the time. Nor will we be worried about whether we're going to land that grand job that pays 10,000 per month. Who will then care so much about make-up and appearances? What is a Prada bag's importance as compared to the life of a young child?

Recently, I just met up with some friends for dinner and was disappointed. I was disappointed that they were still enroached in old mindsets and upset that there was nothing left in me that wanted to keep in contact with them and to share with them feelings and thoughts, as friends will. Their conversations so wrought with immaturity and insensitivity, it pained me just to sit there and listen. I guess the others may see it as a case of Mich being emo again, I believe it's not. After all, its not the first time anyway. Although this was a brutal decision to make, it was a decision that I've hesitated on for so long and I think finally, this will be the last time that I ever have to make such a choice. We've all grown and the paths we take now are different and no longer converged together in the same destinies.

Perhaps I just cannot stand how vulnerable I've become while they've built such resistance.

The reply from my expedition leader on my friend's post:

Sometimes we are more bothered with how we look, what we own, and the "cracks" in our possessions than the cracks in our hearts.Singapore is a tiny dot surrounded by so many other countries and we can be blown away anytime. Since traveling to Cambodia and Philippines, my global perspective has changed.Guys, it is not their Indonesia or their Myanmar. It is our Asia we're talking about. Now we might have the tremors, who knows when we might also get a quake.Taking about ownership, let's not be minding our own cracks.There are cracks in people's hearts that we need to be mending instead of the cracks in the Auntie's house.

Let's all remember that.

hot from the oven!

piggies EVERYWHERE.

Hello my dear friends!!! hehe...alot of things to update!! I will be having my Sept Hol like the primary sch kids this week!! hoho... coz its the release of uol results this coming week, so duno for what reasons...all of us are given a break..haha...well at least let me enjoy this priviledge ONCE...coz nex yr, i will be one of those seniors waiting anxiously for my results to be announced. I muz ali them huh...they REALLY send our papers to london to mark n send back..thats SO MUCH like A level! i cant belive i have to bear with this agony for the next 3 years... T.T

but i have decided to give myself a break first! since yesterday...i have been chionging my HuanHuanAi!! hehe...i finally finish it!! well juz then...i looked around my room...one pig on the right..one pig on the left..i thn decided to CALCULATE the number of PIGs in my room... i counted the ones on my table.. 1,2,3,6,7..... after a whie, i gave up.. i actually LOST COUNT! get it...?! too much piggies stuff till i LOST COUNT...hehe...

i've decided to pao1 qi4 my huanhuanai for a while to go pig-hunting. here are some of the more significance shou1 cang2 in my collection!!

this is from qiqi~! hehe..

now ...who say PIGS cant FLY!! hehe.. LOOk! it has WINGS ok.. pig + angle = PIGLE!

my kiap kiap muz oso be piggy!

not juz that hor...

i must read with a piggy too! ( this was bought from a funfair in amkss..)

Piggy Pouch!!

black piggy! otherwise know as SHAN1 ZHU1!( wild boar :P)

yi actully got it from a sales gal...arhaha...she bought her bag n kop the keychain..

Piggy wallpaper!! I cant resist it..this is in courtesy of my mama! Thats the PORKCHOP family!! thats Mr Porkchop..hehe... Its REAL FAMOUS in HK k...

This was a gift. Brought back from Switzerland. but ...why is it in BLUE???

This is my fav! musical coin piggy. Sings Its a whole world after all when i put coins inside..hehe ( or was it mary had a little lamb song? haha... i dun rmb le )

Piggy handphone couch! not juz this hor..my uncle robin bought the eyore,tigger and winnie the pooh one for me too.he thinks i have 4 hps. T.T


This was a gift from ur my dearest!! i think it was in sec 3 or 4..hehe

Piggy from HAPPY HOUSE!!

Haha..rmb i used to force ur to call me piggy princess? This was a gift from the netball team..hehe... Piggy! for ur info..this is Mr Porkchop's Wife!!! arhahaha..n they hv one daughter, two sons, one bird and one dog.

Piggy from my JC clique..hehe...from mini toons i think

A gift from Thailand from my ex- boss. See!! even my ex-boss knows my obsession with Piggies!

Thankyou so much to one and all!! for increasing my piggy collection... arhahaha i will show ur part two in future..hehe..there's still so much!!!

well aniway...i was walking to the kitchen..n look what i FOUND.

CANDY FLOSS!!!

Well..i juz have to taste it.

Just A BIT...just a bit will do..

Just one more pinch...

And one more...
And one more..i PROMISE this is the last one ok..

and soon....

NO MORE!

WHB...i finish the candy floss juz LIKE THAT.. T.T

although its fluffy, light,small...wait till i see myself in the mirror later...it will SHOW!! just this small, sweet indulgence will definitely make me put on weight deeeee~~~!!!!

Moral of the story... No more can2 zui3..n i muz say "XIEXIENI huh" to the person who gave the candy floss to my mum.. BOO!!!!

And aniway... last tues..i was at subway eating lunner ( lunch + dinner) with yw n feifei...

hehe...

silin: FEI!! i think u shld go view our class blog..my previous post on birds take train was DEDICATED to u..

fei: What blog? what pics?

yw: deh...u know..na zhi lor... with 2HAIRY LEGS de..

fei: ( whines in a high pitched wuyaish voice ) arrrh~~~!!! why ur POST my pic online???? take out take out!!

There u have it... FEi admitted...

This was her!! n that she have HAIRY legs...arhahahahaha

hehe...ok! end of my blog..i need to sleep le..hehe.. now its 3rd Sept...

yanen's bdae!! Happy birthday yanen!!

(when are we going for ur JIKEN rice? hehe... :P)

ok!! i nd to sleep le...until my next post...

MISS ME LOTSSSS!!!!